Let Go

A friend of mine was recently fired from her job. Her employer did not provide a reason for her termination other than, “it is not working out”. A rather flat and meaningless explanation.

The next day she asked me if it would be alright if she emailed everyone at her former job to provide them with her contact information. As with most terminations you are escorted off of the premises and are not allowed to speak to anyone as you are leaving, so she did not get a chance to say goodbye to any of her coworkers.

My answer to her was yes it is alright but I would not recommend it. She is not breaking any laws by doing so and her intention on the surface seems legitimate. The reasons I have for not recommending that she look to contact her previous coworkers are simple.

1. As she put it, she wants to give her friends there her contact information. Well if they are your friend then they would already have your contact information. I like the way a former manager of mine looked at relationships when it came to inviting people to her wedding. Being established and marrying later in life she and her husband to be paid for their wedding. It was a small dinner wedding held at a local restaurant. I think they had about 75 people. Her rationale was, if I have not had dinner with you more than once in a years time then you really are not a friend of mine. This did not apply to friends who lived out of town. Makes perfectly good sense to me. We will break bread with people we want to be around. The more meals we share together the closer we are. Many people fail to realize that some relationships are contextual. They are born out of and exist only for the circumstances that brought us together. Outside of that there is no relationship. Work is a perfect example. Often the bonds, alliances, and camaraderie we create in the work place just does not extend outside of the job.
2. Contacting coworkers after you have been terminated is like trying to contact your ex’s friends after you break up. It is not a good look. Perhaps you did hit off with some of them and you felt a bond with them but your relationship with them too was contextual. Depending on how you and the ex ended things it is probably better just for you to let those people go along with the ex. It makes you look desperate and clingy to try to keep those relationships going. As I mentioned before if any of them were your friends now, they will be there. You want have to reach out to them because they are already in your circle.

There are times when our walking away is going to be forced. We are not always going to have the benefit of having the last word, getting a valid explanation or being able to wrap things up neatly. It is at these times when we need the strength and determination not to hang on to that which does not want us. Letting go is difficult. Once you do though, both hands are free to embrace a new opportunity.

Follow My Lead

Follow the Leader

This is the first time in my career where I have the opportunity to work with some one who has climbed up through the ranks and is willing to share their experience with those subordinate to them. However I must say  that not every manager is a leader, despite how well they manage their staff.

Leadership and management are not always synonymous. I guess when you really break down the definitions of each this becomes even more apparent. Would you agree with me in saying that leadership is about having vision and being able to work with a team to accomplish that vision? Whereas management would be more of keeping a team working but not necessarily working towards a greater purpose. I think leadership, at least good leadership, will encompass management skills. Management perhaps is a discipline that may not have leadership.

Leadership often involves taking risks. The willingness to go out on a limb to acheive an objective. Whereas management is more about keeping the status quo, making sure that things continue to run as smoothly as possible. That said I can see why CEOs and other high ranking executives are considered the leadership of an organization. The vision rests with them and they coordinate the efforts of the organization to realize that vision. They lead the organization to the vision. Much like a general will lead his troops to victory or defeat. The vision is either realized or not.

There are countless books on leadership and how to lead and strategies for leading. I think what it all really comes down to is having a vision and being willing to accept the risks, consequences and rewards of moving to fulfill that vision. Without that you are still following in the footsteps of others.