It Just Does Not Add Up

Has anyone ever stopped to think about the dumb ass things people say when tragedy strikes? Perhaps I am just to disconnected from the warm and fuzzy side of my brain but this shit is really working on my nerves! You fucking spiritual zealots, especially you neo-Christians, espouse the teachings of Christ so fervently but you omit in your daily lives the one thing that was a constant under current of his teachings. Common sense. 

Tell me some one please how much sense does the following quote make. In reference to the recent death of a co-pastor a person being interviewed responded with this, “…God never makes a mistake. He needed another flower and he got one…” What the fuck is that? So what you are telling me is that the deity that you hold in such reverence, the creator of the known universe and the object of your worship could not find a more humane way to promote his servant to a more lofty position? That your god was fucking toiling in the heavenly soil and decided to pluck a bulb from mankind and transplanted it to his celestial garden. Should we thank him that he did not require a shrub or fucking tree?

You dumb ass mother fuckers need get a grip. Being spiritual minded regardless of sect or religion is not an excuse for sheer stupidity. Personally, considering that this woman died in a fucking auto accident, I would rather it be said that she caused displeasure to whatever god she worshipped and he killed her ass rather than some meaningless bullshit about god needing a flower. Lets take this back to the days of tribalism and the virgin sacrifices to appease the “fire god” (volcano). Has any one considered the fact that shit just happens? Is that to hard to deal with? What is so difficult about comprehending that shit happens and it happens to good people too? None of us are beyond its reach.

Perhaps I am being overly rational. Yet I still see the “shit happens” explanation so much easier to grasp than the “god needed a flower” or “god had a purpose” bullshit. You see with the “shit happens” explanation I find it so much easier to find the answers. To identify the events, causes and reasons behind tragedy. Shifting blame to the unknown, well thats just plane stupid. I wish George Carlin was still alive to add his commentary on this subject. Alas god needed a funny angel.

Life is precious, so when a life is lost should we not at least extend the respect of acknowledging that fact? Why is it necessary for you to try to add more of an explanation to the obvious?

My resting words, shall be “Shit happened”. Engraved for all to see and hopefully understand.

Bullshizzle For the Uninspired

I have to bang this one out before my fingers go numb. I can not afford to turn the heat up since home heating oil is now well over $3.00 a gallon. So between the hoody and the coffee I should be warm enough to pass these uninspired words to you, my faithful flock.

Recently some one had the nerve, unmitigated gall and audacity to attempt to save my soul! Go figure. I did not know it needed saving. Typically when the firemen, police hell even the armed forces are dispatched there is a clear indication of what is threatening the lives of those they are sworn to protect. What are the indicators that I am in need of saving? Am I a drug addict? No. Am I promiscuous? No. (That that copious amounts of sex is a bad thing) Am I a theif, murderer or other sort of criminal. No. Am I a lazy person that neglects my responsibilities? No. Am I a hateful person who looks to inflict pain and hurt on others? Typically no. Only during a full moon when the Saturn is aligned with Mercury and the day of the week ends with the letter ‘y’. Seriously though, by all means I am what most people consider to be a ‘nice’ person. Nice being a generality to succinctly summarize the attributes that allow others to tolerate me for periods longer than the initial introduction.

For you see my faithful, God has spoken to me. Which makes me a prophet. I wish to tell you what God said but I forgot my Batman Decoder ring so you will have to wait.

However I can tell you this. It seems that prayer and meditation is an integral part of all religions. Do not take my word for it, however if you do not take my word for it I can assure you a fate worst than death. Prayer has been defined as worshipful address as well as the act of communicating with a deity especially as a petition or in adoration or contrition or thanksgiving. OK lets accept that. Meditation is defined as continuous and profound contemplation or musing on a subject or series of subjects of a deep or abstruse nature. I know I am not providing a lot by way of connective tissue here but bare with me. When one prays one can be in a meditative state. However one does not have to pray in order to meditate. The point is this. That practitioners of religions, especially the Christians, are so adamant about the “Lord” answering their prayers that they fail to realize that the same results that they attribute to God are really nothing more than them working towards their goals through visualization or if you prefer try guided imagery. Why do I say this, you ask. Well simply put, because it makes sense. We have more to do with the outcome of our lives than we are willing to admit. We truly are a self determining species.

This is not to say that we, humanity, do not need guidance. More times than not we ignore practical guidance. Take responsibility for your actions people. If your plan failed it is not because “It was not Gods will” it is because you f’ed them up. If you succeed it is because you worked hard or were fortunate enough to have good timing or perhaps both. Once again, “Gods will” had nothing to do with it. God could care less about your stupid ass plan to be an entertainer or to succeed in some business venture or the other trivial matters in your life that you think are part of his grand plan for you. Hence why I am only a prophet and not God. You see if I were God I would not concern myself with your petty petitions for success and wealth (should you ask). I’d probably disconnect my put myself on the national do not call registry. You people are worse that telemarketers calling at dinner time. Sorry I digress. All the religions encourage hard work, dedication and a thoughtful existence. So why are you so quick to think that the outcome of your life has more to do with a grander purpose than it does the effort you put into it?