Accept That We Do Not

Acceptance is an odd bird in deed. Sometimes the standards for acceptance are very clear and widely known. Other times they are purposely murky and not publicized. What is even more ironic though is that we all implement some filtering system that determines who and what we accept into our lives. Some of us have very fine filters where not many things are passed through, whereas others have a very open system, allowing almost everything to enter their lives. One thing we fail to realize or perhaps overlook until we find ourselves on the outside of someone else’s filter is that we all have rules for acceptance. Is it naïve to think that a world could exist where everyone is universally accepted? What are the implications of such a world? What would our individual filtering systems be like? What would our collective filtering system be like?

When you really dig into this you cannot but help but wonder about all of the many side points that go along with it. As easily as we can say, “just accept everything and everybody” one could also raise the argument that we need to reject some people and ideals. In the same breath the question arises, who sets the standards or rules of what is acceptable and what is not?

Recently I learned that an associate of mine was denied entrance into a lounge because she was not wearing high heels. Truth be told, my associate is a lesbian and for lack of a better word presents herself as being “butch”. She typically wears men’s clothing and grooms herself in a masculine style. On this particular occasion she was dressed quite smartly in a navy blue suit, shirt and tie and black oxfords. Did the lounge have the right to reject her? On the flipside, has she never rejected anyone in her life?

Some reasons for either accepting or rejecting a person, group or ideal do appear to be non-rational. Perhaps based out of fear, ignorance and uncertainty. Are we ever 100% rational though? Do we exhibit complete objectivity all of the time? Do we always honestly acknowledge our own emotional bias and quickly correct it when it becomes the deciding factor? I think not. We are not Vulcans.

I wish I could unequivocally either accept or reject the notion that we will one day find a way to do away with what I consider to be petty criteria for rejecting and accepting each other. I just do not see that happening. There are still too many questions that need to be answered. 

Gettin’ Busy In Public

I left yall hangin’, sorry about that. All is well. We still doing our thang. What can I say. I felt like I was coming down with something so we only hooked up twice last week and this  week I still was not

100% so I am doing a double. Hooked up yesterday and then again tonight. Yesterday was great. We went further than ever before. Really pushed the limits. It is great to have someone that likes to push and that can take it easy. Things do not have to be one way or the other. Truly a blessing in that regard. We are still learning our communication styles. Verbal and non-verbal. Making progress. So far we have not needed a safe word but ya never know. wink-wink. We always seem to have an audience though. Duh that what happens when your pounding it out in public! I mentioned before that I would throw up a pic so yall could see my new love. We discussed it and permission was granted. So here ya go…

Yep that’s her. Well kind of. Running is my new sweety. I really started late last summer then got side tracked with other things. At the same time I was reading Born to Run by Christopher McDougall. What an eye openner! After reading that book my appreciation for running really grew and I just wanted to run. So despite the cold, snow and darkness of AK that is exactly what I did. It would have been too easy to sit back and say I have to wait until the weather is nice. Fuck that! No excuses. Shit – there is always someone running, walking, skiing, skating or just chilling on the trails here. Hell – if they can do it so can I! And I have. Fuck the thermometer, fuck the ice and the snow. This is Alaska baby that shit is here from October until May. 8 months out of the year, what should it stay inside? Hells no. Not this dude. Anyway, it has not been easy. I’m still learning how to properly layer my clothes. Still investing in the right clothes to properly layer. Took a minute to get used to running on packed snow and ice. Still have not mastered the loose snow. I see other people doing it so I just need to be patient and I’m sure I will get the hang of it as well.

However despite all of that I’ve seen a tremendous increase in my stamina. When I first began this I would just run around my neighborhood. Ya know go out for like 20 minutes. It hurt like hell. Then 20 turned into 25. Next thing you know I’m out for an hour and doing 5 miles. That is terribly slow but the point is to get out and do it. My times will pick up. I know I am capable of doing a mile in about 8:30. That’s not crazy fast but it is still closer to the 4 to 5 minute mark that is considered the ideal time. Right now I am averaging a 12 minute mile. My goal is to have that down to 10 minutes by spring. There is still a lot for me to learn. Pacing, form, and training. Practice makes perfect. So far it has been a great experience. I’m really looking forward to growing with her and learning new things along the way. She kicks my ass and I keep coming back for more. Each time a little better than last. Yep – this is going to work out just fine.

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DMX Says

I just couldn’t resist posting another DMX quote.

“To harbor hate would only ruin my life. I can’t enjoy myself if I’m hating somebody. I wish him the best—good health long life. Just leave me alone.” – DMX

A Finely Tuned Machine

I love performance vehicles. Two wheels or four. Powered by fuel or myself. All of the components come together to form the systems that propel me forward.

The greatest tuning experience is that of tuning my self. Tweaking my systems. Getting the maximum performance out of my engine. What better machine to tune than yourself! The investment in yourself is the only one with guaranteed returns. We can rebuild, tune and restore the greatest machine in the world.

Happy tuning people!

Status vs. Lifestyle

The other day I while I was standing in line at one of my favorite sandwich shops I took a gander at the various attire that many of the patrons were wearing. I was not that interested in what they were wearing but more interested in what they were wearing. Let me explain. Some people look at the clothes worn by others in order to pass judgement. To make a determination of their own self worth or the lack of for the person that does not meet a standard. My motivation was purely observational. I do not give a rats ass what brand of clothes these people had on but I did find interesting what brands they were rockin’.

Hence my question, is there a difference between status and lifestyle? Is one reflective of the other? We have status symbols like expensive cars, jewelry, neighborhoods, schools, designe clothes, etc. Are these truly indicative of a lifestyle? What constitutes a lifestyle symbol? Is there such a thing? I do not know. When I really looked at the items that most people adorn themselves with to give an outward appearance of having a certain lifestyle to me the vast majority of these people are sad imitations of those that truly do have the lifestyle. They are as cheap and fake as the knock-offs that are peddled by street merchants in any busy city and gobbled up by the hordes of budget minded spend-thrifts who want to look like they party with Paris Hilton and hang with Soulja Boy.

I am an average Joe. A hard working stiff like so many millions of other hard working stiffs. It would be nice to have more but at the same time I’ve gown to appreciate the value in the credo, “less is more”. I’m not begrudging those who have attained more and benefits that come with it. What I am knocking are those counterfeits, fakes, phonies and frauds that feel that being a bad copy is better than being themselves. Thats the truth Truth!

Surrender To Yourself

Surrender

“Some days I’m brittle, dry, scattered, and faded. When I surrender my expectations of how I should be, well…then I can accept the beauty of being fragile.” – journeyswithasimplegirl

Surrendering not only exposes us to our own frailties but also allows us the opportunity for new experiences. It is at the point of surrender where we no longer are defending or guarding a position, way of life or ourselves. With surrender comes exposure. A humble acceptance of change. Exposure is never easy but it is freeing.

It is sad that surrendering carries such a negative connotation. With surrender comes power because at that point you have chosen to surrender. You are in control. Perhaps it will give you time to regroup, reassess and start anew. As stated above, surrender is about acceptance. Accepting reality and forgoing expectations.

RTFM vs. Using the Damn Software

Religion is like the documentation that comes with software. Religion is able to tell you how to live and the purpose of life, however just like software documentation it does not cover every possible usage scenario nor does it account for all of the bugs that occur during use.

Unlike software we do not receive patches that resolve the bugs introduced through living and none of the sacred books have been revised by their chief author. Do to the fact that they are perceived as being of divine origin they are accepted as being perfect and infallible. However we are not.

Our patches come from applying the lessons learned from past experiences. Much like how we build our proficiency with software by using it. Likewise it is through living that we continually update ourselves by repairing flaws and improving where we are weak. Religious texts are excellent bodies of knowledge that serve well as high level guides to our lives however it is through living though, that we obtain the knowledge to patch, repair and if need be reinvent ourselves.

Fu¢k Da Lemonade

Pardon my departure from my normal PG language but I am trying to get myself motivated, pumped up or “amped” if you will about a situation that I really do not want to be involved with. So fuck the lemons and the fucking lemonade.

So my situation made me stop and think about that old adage of, “when life gives you lemons make lemonade”. Granted things are not going to always be peachy, sticking with the fruit metaphors, but just because you’ve been given a lemon does not mean you have to accept it. Making lemonade when you really want apple juice does not get you closer to fucking apple juice. Hell if you are about to die of thirst then make some lemonade but if time allows hold out for the apple juice.

Sometimes we have no choice but to deal with the lemons. It is those times when you need to make that lemonade sweet and enjoy the fruit of your labor!

So when life serves you lemons throw those mutha fuckers back and go get what you want!

Slit Wrists

Slit my wrists
To let love bleed
Death is slow