Stimulate Me Until I Come and Recover

Courtesy of solea

Yes I need to be stimulated until I come and recover. It’s not what you think though. Unless your a $1000 call girl named Juanita Epstein then it is exactly that.

Seriously though folks I have been incubating this one for a couple of weeks and I think I am ready to let it hatch and take flight. I know they have some major Brainiacs there in Washington D.C. working hard on solutions to rejuvenate this stalled economy. However I’d like to put my idea, as simplistic as it may be, out there for consideration. After I’m done then you guys can tell me what you think. OK? Alright here it is.

Since the government is in the mood to give money away and bail out every greedy bastard and their wayward industry why not try this stimulus plan and see if it helps.

1. F*** the banks! They’ll always find a way to make money. Instead why not do something worth while with that $80 billion dollars. Lets really stimulate the economy by paying 1/2 of all mortgages written in the last 10 years. Why? This way the banks get an infusion of cash, mortgage debt is lowered and home owners have more spendable cash.
2. F*** the auto manufacturers! Let them fail this way they can get rid of the unions. In this day of litigation the unions are not really necessary to protect the interests of the common laborer. Believe me, people know where to go when they feel their rights are being trampled upon. Also if step 1 were followed then people would have some money to purchase new automobiles. Hell they might even cost less now that the domestic auto manufacturers do not have pay those exorbitant hourly wages, pensions and medical benefits.
3. Legalize marijuana. Admit that you were wrong and start cashing in on Americas multi-billion dollar crop.

There you have it, 3 easy steps to stimulate the economy until it recovers. After it recovers let it bask in the warm after glow of triple digit profits and capitalist short sightedness for a while before you go and f*** it again.

Buckets, Ugly Sluts & Slip-on Uggs

Buckets

Buckets courtesy of Bo Mackinson

Why must we as a society label and categorize every aspect of our existence? Moderate, conservative, liberal, the left, the right, gay, straight, bi, black, white, and other.

We have created so many buckets to contain ourselves that we will eventually lose sight of what we were trying to set ourselves apart from. Dang it we even have buckets within buckets.

What’s wrong with just existing? Living each day to the full and accepting and if need be rejecting people as you encounter them? Life is for living not subdividing!

Ugly Sluts

Courtesy of gwalton1

Out and about this weekend I came across two young women. Probably in the their very early 20s. What caught my eye, from a distance, at night with very bad lighting, were curvy bodies, high heels and the chatter of young women. Like any male I had to investigate. So I did. I felt like a fish that swallowed a lure. So like most men that have been let down by their own foolishness I to had to blame the women.

Slip-On Uggs

Courtesy of Moodahocka's camera phone

Really what is the point of an Ugg slipper, slide, or mule? Isn’t the rationale behind Uggs is that it’s a very warm boot or shoe? If it’s cold enough outside to wear Uggs then wear Uggs. Does having your heel hang out really make that much of a difference?

$1000 Sex vs. $100 Sex

Starbucks vs. Dunkin Donuts

Image courtesy of Seattlepi.com

Now that I have your attention, the real title of this entry is Starbucks vs. Dunkin Donuts.

I know you guys are smart enough to realize this is by no means a taste test comparison of two the nations leading coffee brands. This is more of a look at the mind set that often comes into play when discussing ones favorite brew. Just for full disclosure I prefer Starbucks.  I have tried the others, D&D, 7-11, various diners, break room and even instant coffee. It does not bother me that the majority of the folks do not like Starbucks. Is it not about choice? What does bother me though is that the non Sbux drinkers will deride us for spending more on something that we enjoy. As if all pallets were the same. Should that be the case why not a monochromatic world and season less food? There is no comparison, for better or worse, between the various brews.  Yes it is all coffee just like $100 sex and $1000 sex is still sex. But what do I get for the $1000 that I do not get for the $100.

• Environment – I can enjoy my cup of joe in an environment that suits my lifestyle.
• Choice – Sbux provides me with a constant variety of new flavors and blends to try.
• Class – This is not about the people per se but more about the experience. Sbux educates its customers. You either get it or you don’t.

You see my point. Although ultimately sex is sex and each provider will produce the same outcome (snicker snicker) but perhaps for the $1000 I am in a posh hotel and not in the back seat of a car. Perhaps for the $1000 I am with an educated, worldly and entertaining host. For the $1000 I had the chance to pick from a selection of the most beautiful and talented women for which to satisfy my carnal desires.

Continuing with my prostitution metaphor. Perhaps I tried the $100 street walker and by some good fortune also got to experience the $1000 call girl. Yes they both performed the same service but as I described above what made the difference was how it was offered. Maybe for some those differences are irrelevant but for others they are deal breakers.

I guess all I am saying is that there are choices out there.  The ones you choose are just that, the ones you chose. Let me enjoy my $2 cup of coffee and I’ll let you enjoy your $1 cup of coffee. After we are done with our hot aromatic beverage we can bask in the warm after glow of post consuption satisfaction.

With the tough economic times perhaps making it yourself is actually the best course of action. If you choose to do so why not learn a little bit about how to make a really good cup of coffee. Here is a good place to start…

Right Is Right Except When Wrong

The above is what is commonly referred to as a “truth table“. In our case it is a truth table for a “logical AND” or “logical conjunction”. It defines that for a result to be true, both arugments “p” and “q” must be true. Fair enough?

Why am I discussing truth tables and the fundamentals of logic? Well because there are a lot of stupid ass people out there that need this broken down for them. Stupid ass people that like to assert opinion as fact and mock those who can support their arguments with facts. For those I present some guidelines (not official by any means) for debating:

1. Know the difference between your opinion and a fact.
2. If your opinion can not be substantiated then do not state it as if it is a fact!
3. If some one points out to you that there is clear verifiable evidence to support their opinion (which at this point it is no longer and opinion) you can not dismiss the evidence because you have not seen it, read it or lack the intelligence to comprehend it. Especially if they are giving you the evidence to verify for yourself. At this point you either accept the evidence or offer evidence of your own that supports your position. If you chose to do neither then state that and politely excuse yourself from the discussion, because at this point you have nothing to offer.
4. Trying to bring in unrelated subject matter to support your case will not help, so don’t.
5. Attempting to back-pedal and restate or change the context of your position only makes you look more ignorant than you already appear. State your position and stick to it. If your position is going down in flames accept the fact that you need to reconsider your position or need to do more research to get the facts that support your position.
6. Telling the other person “You know what your problem is? You just have to be right!” is a clear signal of you did not know what you were talking about to begin with and is a sub conscience way of admitting defeat. (Thats my opinion)
7. Graciously accept defeat and try to learn something instead of getting upset that you were shown that you do not know everything.
8. If you attempt to win using semantics do not accuse the other person of using semantics when they reverse it on you. If you need clarification then ask for it but do not try to bullshit the other person with these silly ass word games. If your opponent is being vague then call them on it. “Your being vague, could you define what you mean by…” or “Am I understanding you correctly that when you say XYZ, you mean this…”. Force your opponent to clearly state their position.

Just for the record, yep I do like to be right. Is there anything wrong with that? All it means is that I have taken the time to learn. That I have made an attempt at enlightening myself and shunning the darkness of ignorance. Is that such a bad thing? Granted I know people do not like a “know it all”. Well “know it alls” do not like the “know nothings”. The folks that run around spouting inaccuracies, falsehoods and misinformation as if they themselves know it all. Hmmmmm bet you never thought of it from that angle. Its not that know-it-alls are disliked its the fact that the know-it-all knew more than you that you do not like. That you were knocked down a rung or two and it may have hurt. Well grow up, because even know-it-alls are shown that there is more to know.

From now on I will make my assertions with down cast eyes and in the meekest of tones for fear of upsetting your fragile ego. I will beseech your permission to utter statements that may not coincide with yours. Better yet i will just accept all that you say and smile with satisfaction that others too will get to hear how great your ignorance is.

Tig O’l Bitties

What the freak am I supposed to look at. You ladies put’em out there amongst other things and then expect us to notice but not look. WTF is that? If you do not want the other children to play with your toys do not bring them to show and tell!

Clueless In Starbucks and Kneel and Bob

My second reference to the ubiquitous Starbucks. However in this case I making reference to an overheard conversation. Two young ladies, if they were a day over 20 I would be surprised, were discussing their respective political stances as so many are with this being an election year. I was quite floored when I heard one inquire of a nearby customer, “Is Hillary Clinton a Democrat or Republican?” only to be further trampled on when her equally astute friend chortled, “Is Obama right or left wing?”. After receiving very quick and biased answers to their questions and admonition to do a little reading the two quickly professed who they would be voting for in November. Ya know I am kind of glad that there is the electoral college, no matter how flawed of a system it is, it still may protect  the populace from blithering idiots like these two. Is it really to much to ask, we’ve been down this road before, for people to think, just a little bit? We all know the popular vote is a meaningless gester given to the populace to pacify their need for inclusion in the pseudo democratic process. Yet it still upsets me though that ding-dongs like the aforementioned regard themselves as qualified to cast a ballot in a process that they feel has lasting impact and merit. If you can not even identify what political party a given candidate belongs to and the fundamental beliefs of the candidate or the party by what means are you arriving at your decision? How do you know if that person is really the right person for the job? Whateva’ man.

OK now on to item number 2. I want to give all of the real haters out there some props. What do I mean by real haters? Those people who openly express their disdain for anyone not like themselves. Skinheads (are they still called that), Neo-Nazis, White Supremacist, those involved in ethnic cleansing, etc. Hey I may not agree with your cause but I respect the fact that you openly and courageously speak your mind and let the rest of the world know where you stand. You do not hide behind politcal correctness or a vale of civility. You do not like these fucking people and thats that. End of story. I just hate these folks that pretend to accept everyone. Then as soon as shit happens they are the first ones to ask about race, ethnicity, etc. Ummmm last time I checked crimes were being committed by all people. Listen you fake ass, brainwashed, bitches, go suck a dick and shut the fuck up. Kneel and bob just kneel and bob, be-yatch!

A Shade of Pain Then We Die

If pain could be could be painted what color would it be? I think Seal hit the nail on the head with that lyric. Well thats how I feel today. I really do not want to talk about it. I think I will just bitch and moan to myself. I am really starting to believe, or should I say beginning to adopt in its entirety the concept of 100% self reliance. “I live with me, I’ve got my back tonight”. You see the choice is mine. I think the problem is in part lies in the fact that I never have truly embraced myself as my own savior and redeemer. Du Mhan Yhu! When you get right down to it know one can do it like I can. Without a doubt, I am the shit! I finally said it and I feel so much better. After taking a long hard look at myself and admiring what I have seen I have come to the conclusion that my facade of easy going kindness should be dispatched and immediately replaced by the true nature of man. Who am I kidding other than myself. Should I bridle my thoughts and exercise restraint in order to spare the feelings of those who could not even capable enough of handling my urine. I think not. If there is going to be pain then then I say let me be the first to draw blood and the last to draw breath. “But Mooda, want you be isolating yourself from those around you? Want you be causing conflict where there is none?”, you ask. Perhaps but as I noted before I’ve got my back. I have yet to let myself down and I seriously doubt that I will now. Be for real, if I strategically realigned my resources with personal objectives I foresee a very nice return on my investment in myself. Really thats what it all boils down to, a realignment of resources to meet personal objectives. Yeah thats the spin I think I will put on this. A strategic realignment. Objectives. Investments and goals. Somehow I just seem to be able to make shit happen for myself. I do not know why, how or what but it just happens. Like bird shit dropping from the sky.

It is crazy and I can not really explain it. I was talking to my boy Kyle and he was explaining some really deep shit to me. It totally blew my mind but he was right as he often is. I have to say Kyle is my boy, my absolute best friend. He is the flip side of the coin.

This is going to be the last post for this year. It’s done, it’s a wrap. I got mine now get the fuck out. Next year is mine bitches. Do not get it twisted. I am officially declaring 2008 the year of fire. If you do not want to get burned then stay out of my way cuz I am gonna be blazing like napalm.

On that note I’d like to give a big fat, super sized, “Ho ho ho and fuck you too!” You know who you are, rat bastard.

Break On Through To The Other Side

Had to borrow something from The Doors.  You are being given fair warning, this entry is definitely a little out there but will interesting none the less. It is not based on any scientific data but if you really need some just drop me a line and I will be more than happy to share my research with you.

I think worm holes, the kind that allow for matter to effortlessly travel through space and time, exist. My theory on them is a little different than most though. You see, I think that we do not need to travel to them nor do they appear and disappear like a magical door. I think it is much simpler than that. Yep I sure do. Here is my theory. Worm holes are merely a metaphysical construct that are accessed by a plain of consciousness. In order to use a worm hole you have to be in the right frame of mind. They just exist and are only “visible” when we are in the correct state to see them.

If you think of the worm hole as a tunnel then you have to think of the other side as your destination. Once you reach your destination via the worm hole your existence in the destination is not a physical one. You direct your consciousness in the same way that you would control a character in a video game or think about the Matrix. Neo controlled his avatar in the Matrix. His physical body was not in the Matrix but was back on the ship. This theory makes the assumption that the laws of interaction are universal not to mention there is a universal language. I think this theory aside from the afore mentioned assumptions is valid because it addresses some very critical issues that the current space exploration program is facing. The most significant being that in order for us to sustain life outside of earths atmosphere requires huge amounts of energy and superior materials that to my knowledge we, humanity, do not posses. However the one thing that we all carry with us that still is a source of great mystery is the gray matter between our ears. How much energy does it take to think and to dream?

Take for instance hallucinations. Are these nothing more than conscious dreams? Yet they become real to the one having them. It is a known fact that certain drugs heighten our senses and allow us to “see” what we normally would not see. While under the influence these individuals interact with the world on a different plain of  consciousness. Do you agree?

It takes very little energy for us to change the chemistry of our minds, even without drugs we are able to change our state of mind by literally just thinking about it. Now extend that same principle to space travel. If we knew for certain that there are some universal truths, laws (scientific not moral) and languages would it not be far easier to explore the cosmos from the comfort of ones favorite schair? No need to miss loved ones. No need to put your life in danger. No insurmountable barriers to overcome. This just makes more sense to me than the SS Enterprise.

Speak Up So I Can’t Hear You – Trash talkin’

First, second and third place go to me, myself and I. In a post game interview I had this to say, “Me is good but myself was better and I am the best. As far as you, well you never had a chance. It looks as though I may have it all figured out. With the closest competition coming from me only time will tell if I will be able to stay on top of my game. I think I can speak for myself when I say that you might have a chance at challenging me in the unlikely event that something should happen to myself. The likelihood of you beating me is a noble but delusional one. What you need to focus on is your game, your talents and not me, myself and I. As far as I am concerned you can not touch me. Take a good look at yourself and then look at myself. Do you see me? Now you have a baseline for improvement. As soon as you think you can see myself, well lets just say that would have been me a while back and you will have to work that much harder to catch up and I wont be in sight.”

I continued to ramble on, “You see, your game is weak like 7-11 coffee. You got no skills son.” I chuckled and continued, “Please, you know that hell would freeze on the sun before you could play at my level. I’m so nice Homeland Security raises the terror alert when I play because they know I am about to blow shit up. Thats real talk.”

Good Times

Good times should be cherished like a child. Cultivated and never taken for granted. Good times are not guaranteed and should be treated like the rarest of gems. Good times are good by ourselves but even better when shared with someone special. Someone special makes the good times better. Then those good times become the best times of our lives.