The Grass Is Greener

I have never considered myself to be a gardener, nor do I really enjoy doing yard work. Weeding, seeding, cultivating, watering and feeding the vegetation, whether eatable or not, is not my idea of a good time. Yet there are those of you out there that receive a great deal of joy and satisfaction from toiling in the soil. To you folks I tip my hat. Not because you are doing something that is so noble but in the fact that you have found contentment in something that is as natural as breathing. I believe you have found a way to get reconnected to an existence that for the most part is as gone as the T-Rex.

You see I can now attest to the fact that the grass was greener on the other side. Why? Because that bloke put the effort in to get it that way. Now that I understand what it takes to get green grass my lawn will get greener with the envy that is thrown its way. I say all that to make this point. I love my freaking lawn! Last year it looked liked the blasted Sahara desert. There were large bare spots, like a balding men, all over the lawn from where I had removed pools of river rock. I guess some one fancied them Zen like. Do you know what several hundred pounds of stone does to soil? It compacts it and makes it hard like concrete. I do not care how much seed and Scotts you put down nothing is going to grow. Should something grow it is tantamount to a bald man with a comb-over.

So last year I purchased about 6 square yards of topsoil and began the process of cultivating my lawn. After the top soil was down I tackled the sprinkler system. It took me most of the spring and early summer to repair/replace all of the heads and the numerous leaks but I did it. It was repaired just in time for me to seed.  Well not much grew. The bare spots began to fill in like a bald guy on Rogain. It was a start though. This year is another story. Hell my lawn looks like its on HGH. Yeah I got out there early this year. Fed it early . Seeded early. Fed it more and some more. Sprinkler system only needed 2 heads replaced. No leaks. OK and more rain than Noah saw. The rain came late this year (doesn’t that sound like something from Little House On the Prairie) but it has not stopped. My lawn is so thick and green I sometimes just go outside to stare at it. It’s like sneaking a peep at the hot chick or hot guy you see in the grocery store. You just have to go back down the aisle you left to see them one more time.

Now when I look at my neighbors lawns I don’t feel so bad. I don’t have that lawn envy. In fact now that I am a lawn expert I kind poke fun at them and their gradient green lawns. Seriously though. It is amazing how good a small ass thing like a decent lawn can make you feel. I say decent because although its green and thick it still does not measure up to the perfectly manicured lawns around it. But thats OK. I still feel damn good that I was able to bring it back. Ressurect it from its dismal state to its emerald elegance.

I guess that it took something like this, getting green grass, to remind me that it only takes a little effort sometimes to get big results.